He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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