It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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