you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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