My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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