Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
