is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
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Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
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His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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