You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
