My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
