I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
