I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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