I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
