This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
