So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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