There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
