What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
