if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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