He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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