I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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