1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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