i permit you to call me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
