At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's blow job season.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
