how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
