I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So squirting runs in the family.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
