If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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