I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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