Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
