You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So here I am, sexting at work.
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