it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.