Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville

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  (740): We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville http://tfl.nu/1fjn
  Replies (18) Good night (1297) Bad night (925)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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  (253): I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw. http://tfl.nu/27va
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (2953)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?

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  (360): on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you? http://tfl.nu/kgxf
  Replies (50) Good night (1500) Bad night (9525)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I in a dog kennel?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  It was for your own safety

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  (803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni
  Replies (27) Good night (13178) Bad night (1545)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.

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  (520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training. http://tfl.nu/cz3b
  Replies (15) Good night (4495) Bad night (1036)
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  (818): View more from California

  She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....

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  (818): She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again..... http://tfl.nu/lpua
  Replies (5) Good night (2893) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3184) Bad night (1015)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.

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  (903): Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high. http://tfl.nu/bi94
  Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (605)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.

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  (715): During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me. http://tfl.nu/euwh
  Replies (30) Good night (4821) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.

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  (904): You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/4wr7
  Replies (9) Good night (818) Bad night (417)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole

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  (720): Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole http://tfl.nu/mr1r
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (277)
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  (650): View more from California

  At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.

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  (650): At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe. http://tfl.nu/ot23
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."

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  (617): I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..." http://tfl.nu/x7hv
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants

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  (314): He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants http://tfl.nu/b4ki
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.

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  (215): I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking. http://tfl.nu/36vi
  Replies (4) Good night (292) Bad night (665)

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