Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
