Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.

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(813): View more from Florida

One blow job doesn not make me gay.

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(905): View more from Ontario

was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.

(250): View more from British Columbia

I hear you

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.

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(251): View more from Alabama

What happened to no more shots?

(734): View more from Michigan

It went out the window just like my dreams

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