Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid