Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
