I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.