Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Randomize
