How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
