Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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