Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
