I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize