There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
