I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
