The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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