This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Who died my cat blue again?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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