need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
