your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
