Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I love having hate sex.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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