sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
