I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
