how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
