had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
