I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
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It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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