the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Randomize
