he shaved USA in his pubs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
