Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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