is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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