i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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