im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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