oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
