I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
