i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
