First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
