remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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